Spring 2025.


March 10.
It's Spring. I came to work for my shift but forgot I was not on the rota.
Walking down, it was easy to tell the winter is now behind.
Strange to think, it felt so long.
The week ahead looks difficult. So I have to prepare.

March 11.
Today I called in sick.
It is not illness but exhaustion.
Felt like I was going to pass out in the library.
Going to get some rest.

March 13.
Still exhausted but could not miss Sayeem's lectures.
His are by far the best on the course.
But these shifts, and coursework, it's becoming too hard.
Chloe has offered a solution to change my shift pattern.
That really helps.
My group presentation, well what do you know. Nobody has done much. Surprise surprise.
Took tomorrow off. Got a few days to rest.
And you know, I really need to rest.
It's not about being all tuckered out. It's something else.

March 19.
Had a few days off. Then, two crappy days at work.
Well today was an amazing day.
Our class, well what's left of it, went down to the museum and saw an exhibition.
Then me, Hui and Martin hung out in the SLB.
There was some free food being handed out, I had some lamb wrap, was lush.
We couldn't stop talking. We make a good bunch of friends.
Then I finished that marketing draft, thank god, at least.
And finally work paid me that bonus, and my shift wasn't even that bad.
Could not ask for more. Looking forward to more awesome days.

March 21.
Quit the job.
I can't remember the last time I felt so released, happy and..
Tired. Going to sleep for weeks.

March 26.
Still not recovered and won't be for some time.
What a horrible place to work. C was not expecting what I had to say.
Fine for cash and classes will end soon, I can go wherever I want now.
Time for a long rest. Maybe back to work in May or.. whenever.

March 31.
The weather is comfortable, it's getting warmer and brighter.
Doing well on my modules. The presentation was fun.
Except this proposal though. May have to get some help.
Had a dream when H pushed me away for someone else.
Might tell her that haha.

April 10.
The spring weather is warm. Easy to forget that it was just winter.
Classes have finished now. They'll allocate someone for the thesis, but it still makes me feel sad.
I'm hoping H can be my supervisor. That would be cool.
Been a stinking drunk for the last 2 weeks. At some point I'm going to have to find another job.
Been working on my CV, preparing for interview talks, gathering leads, it won't be too difficult.
Have to rationalise how that last job ended. What a mess, thanks C.
At least I have a lot of ammunition about that. Jesus christ.

April 20.
Coursework is going ahead great.
Which is just as well, because there's barely a week left.
Just need to get it checked out and job is done.
Going back on the job market.
Not having a job is boring and lonely, and also financially detrimental.
All I do these days is drink.
Lots of nonsense again with the flat.
I honestly cannot wait to get out of that hellhole.
Not long now thankfully.

April 22.
Life has just gone from dull to fucking crazy.
Constantly behind assignments. Every time I think I'm finished another task pops up.
Can't seem to find work anywhere. Rather worrying.
Rowing with the landlord over this gym business.
Going to AA meetings just to have something to do.
All I can say is jesus fucking christ.

April 23.
Coursework looks so much better now. 6 days left for submission.
Work isn't looking great, but a few more leads popping up.
Don't have endless cash. Yet who said this was going to be easy?
Absolutely furious with this bastard landlord trying to make it seem like he was doing me a favour.
He's done nothing but lie. Well I'll still try and save his bacon.

April 25.
Submitted my assignments and getting some luck with finding work.
Was writing a personal statement, pretty impressed with myself.
Got a call from Brook Street and Reed. This passport thing, ugh.
So grateful that my tutor could help me out.
Made it clear to Z that I'm not moving out. That gym has been illegal the whole time.
If he wants to kick me out fine. I am just done with the whole thing now.

April 28.
Yesterday was nice. Went down the beach, really happy atmosphere.
City also won the football league. People with their flags out everywhere haha.
Re-submitted that proposal. Feel very confident about the reports.
To be honest there's not much more I can do. Apart from rewrite the whole thing.
getting slightly closer to finding work. Applied to a few places today, still waiting on Reed.
Oh and my old job? They're laying people off. Ah ha ha. Never saw that coming.
Even if I had stayed itd' mean what 1 or 2 paychecks? What the fuck.

April 30.
The weather has been hot.
Been wandering around the city in the afternoons after the library. Nice to hang out and peoplewatch.
The job crawl.. it goes. Some initial luck with an admin job and a call handler gig.
Had some traction with a programme advisor or something but ended up getting ghosted.
Bullshit situation to be honest. Even if I stayed in my last job, they'd have laid me off.
There isn't much out there so I'm prepared to take what I can get.

May 2.
Had a mini heatwave, now we're back to cooler weather.
Priority ATM is finding work. Not desperate but the boredom is killing me.
Been applying to places here and there, trying to network online.
Also preparing for the research project. Actually managed to find a good thesis example.
B's lectures were not exactly great. Supervisor will want to work from home too.
Luckily there's... Google and Youtube. A real university experience.
But the libraries and resources are good. At least there are those.
Don't know what's happening about downstairs. Or my ass.
A solicitor wants to charge a grand for my case, mulling it over.

May 6.
Three important things going on at the moment.
Most important by far is the coursework results. This'll guide what I do and how so in the next 6-18 months.
Prepping for the project but need to know exactly for sure.
Then work. I need an income plus it is amazingly boring not having a job.
Think I can sign on in several weeks but would so much prefer something to do.
Finally this flat business. No one's come back to me, so impotant but not urgent.
Could fight eviction in court.

May 12.
Are we in summer already?
It's consistently hot and the sun is always blinding.
Still no news on anything - jobs, grades, council, nothing.
It feels hard to occupy myself but I have to try.
Had a sad dream about H.

May 13.
Got 91% on my marketing report, great score!
Still waiting on the rest, hopefully they'll come back this week.
Research project starts on Thursday but I've been prepping anyway, reading & NVIVO.
Still no luck with work. Tried local council. Surprise useless as always.
The weather keeps getting hotter and dryer, it's so uncomfortable,
And also hayfever has finally kicked in, lucky I packed my antihistamines today.

May 14.
Another distinction for the proposal. Really happy and relieved.
Most of my work went into the strategy report, so that must pass now.
Tomorrow is the 'bootcamp'. Looking forward, but not many from my group looks like they'll be there.
I wonder if many students here even finish their theses.
Started to pick up a framework for an idea I have. Coding is fun, but is it a drag.
The council called me back about the situation - useless as always. What to expect?
Still blazing hot, bright and dry. Even the newspapers are starting to talk about drought.
It has cooled down a little today but the grass everywhere is becoming scorched.
And it's set to continue until June.. god I hate hot weather.

May 15.
Today is officially the first day of the thesis project. They arranged a presentation in the EDN.
It was mostly a formality really, but glad they arranged it for us.
Met M for the first time too, what a nice dude.
Went to the library and did the first 200 words. (like 1% of the whole thing. jesus.)
My research question is good though, it's a hot topic, easy to get motivated about.
And that's it for socialising with other students. Which is something to feel grateful for.
At first I was honestly interested in meeting others on the course and making friends.
Their negativity, complete lack of interest in others or the subject is so offensive.
Finding people who want to get off their arse sometimes.. never an easy task.

May 16.
So pissed off with how much "introductionary content" there is for the project.
They may as well have taught us this, instead of faffing around on the MBRs.
Plus they want us to fill in no less than 3 sets of records as we we go.
H is going home for good. What the fuck. I'll miss you.
It's a soulless world sometimes.

May 22.
Scorched grass.
The drought makes me miserable.
Every day is hot, humid, and bright.
For the love of fucking god please fuck off.

May 23.
The MOJ has started advertising a lot of jobs strangely. Applied to them all.
Used to work for a company contracted to take on their maintenance,
But thanks to typical HM bureaucracy, that gets me no favours.
The interview process will be long too. If it gets me work though, that would be nice.
Thankfully the drought looks like it's right about to end.

May 27.
Yesterday was a little crazy.
Went into the city centre, and it was just crammed with people partying the recent football win.
Then there was a dangerous incident which people thought might have been terrorism.
I was only 5 minutes' walk away, and its world news everywhere.
Still huge amounts of police around. And rubbish from the people partying.

May 28.
It's almost summer.
Been trying to quit drinking again.
After three days of light work and resting, no booze, my body still feels completely exhausted.
Is this how I've been living?
Got a very good lead with work, interview is next week.
Will probably be employed by July.
But there's a mountain of coursework to do.
Agency is interested in a graduate recruiting role, or should I do a PhD?
It made me cry the other day, for once I have options.
Real options not bullshit ones. Maybe for the first time since you-know-when.

May 30.
Went to the hospital thinking I had jaundice.
They ran every test possible and it came back negative.
Liver, bloods, x-ray, everything's fine apparently.
Well, what the hell, let's drink forever I suppose.

May 31.
Oh my god.
The gym moved out yesterday.
One year of antisocial behaviour and it's finally over.
The shop front is empty. I can hardly believe it.
Last night they made a little childish protest by playing their music as loud as possible. Then unplugged everything and finally left.
I don't usually win stuff like this. But I stood my ground. I actually won.
No more horrible noise to come home to and I can even work from home now. Don't even know how to feel.
Just glad and a little angry I had to put up with that.
But it all comes down to doing what it takes.
And that's it for the season.
Goodbye spring 2025, you were okay I guess.


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