Autumn.


24th August.
Today was the DAY..
Finally handed in the submission for that awful module.
Ah, I may have made some mistakes here and there, but I have done so much work,
And not to mention, I am emotionally done with it. It has taken up so much of my life recently. All I have done is work on this thing.
My portfolio became a small book, almost 15,000 words. It's ridiculously large, slightly bigger than a dissertation.
The presentation was a load of crap to do too. Not hard exactly, just a really rubbish task to have to do.
Such a lack of support from the university. Doesn't seem like their expectations were very high either.
Not everything is done completely right. There are mistakes. I still have another week to clear things up.
But fuck it. I've had enough. They can give me a straight pass if they don't like it. I am done.
Sorry for not writing much. The summer has been difficult to get through.
Will catch up later..

30th August 2024.
I've been so busy recently. Work and study, and home things too.
Always things to go into town for, cleaning, and the such. It's a handful sometimes, it can get hectic.
A lot of it is just basic maintenance stuff. I feel like one person is just not enough to take care of one person.
Thankfully though things are winding down now. Next semester doesn't start until the end of September.
This gives me plenty of time to catch up on all the bullshit I need to do.
Plus, it's only one unit, something to do with supply chains. Doesn't sound especially difficult.
Today was the final day for that submission. Thank god, fuck that module.
I ended up having to rewrite my essays because I was ignorant and did not read up on the meaning of a "reflective essay".
The teaching hasn't been great to be honest. Especially for that horrid practice module.
But I do need to step it up with my reading.
It's soon time for work.. moved to a 6-11 shift now, which means I can get the bus back instead of walking an hour.
Well, speak later.

31st August 2024.
Another belter. (This means it's a hot day.)
I don't like hot weather, but round here it's worse, the flies, the smell.. not to mention the difficulty sleeping.
The sun was like a hot lamp to my face.
Really want it to cool down already..

2nd September 2024.
Today it turned into Autumn overnight.
It's muggy and rainy, grey. The summer died instantly.
I went into town and got some things done. Took some books back, bought some shirts, got a haircut, stuff like that.
Set myself a little bit of reading to do over this month. It's not essential for the course but I am intrigued.
They haven't finished marking my submission yet, only half of it. And that's not published.
I swear, they can do anything now. Spent all year on that, what a piece of work that module was.
Trying to keep myself busy, set myself goals. But it seems pointless.
Despairing at where I might be next year.
And this job too.. pretty sick of it, but hanging in there surprisingly well.
I really want this degree, and then a decent income with a decent place to live.. that's it.
Is this really what I want though? Not that I'm having second thoughts, but where do you go from that?
I've never considered it.

6th September 2024.
Oh jesus another belter. Scorching hot all day. Where does this weather come from?
July was two months ago!
Went and bought a present for Chloe, got her a cute doggy candle for her birthday.
They're having issues marking my assignment - Professor Fucker has re-marked it.
Another lecturer is helping out with marking my portfolio.
Working on my PDP, it is going to include more reading.

11th September 2024.
Been working on my PDP. Progress is slow, I spend way too much time drinking.
Still no marks received from the university on that module. Please let me have closure!
The gym downstairs was way too loud in the afternoon yesterday. Still can't get in touch with the council.

16th September 2024.
I'm fucking up.
Need help.

2nd October 2024.
Started semester today. Class was ok.
Dr B. is friendly and the assignment does not look tough.
Don't anticipate a tough ride for this year.
Work has been stressful. So many angry customers.
The weather is cooler, wetter, much easier to deal with.
I have a meeting with a careers person later. Looking forward to it.
Not happy with myself last month. I drank nearly every day, spent more on alcohol than I did on food.
Fell behind on all my goals obviously.
Ah, I will catch up later.

12th October 2024.
Life feels like shit these days.
Even though it really isn't that bad.
One thing I've noticed is how pretty autumn is.
It's so much better cooler.

14th October 2024.
Yesterday was my first therapy session.
I applied for it in February. Thought they had forgotten me.
The counselor said it was an introduction session.
Talking about this stuff is really hard.
But the only other option in life, is just drinking.
I can't believe how crazy those days were.
Have cut down my drinking a little recently.
Honestly, I am too exhausted.
They rejected that complaint. Jesus, what a bunch of idiots.
Tomorrow is class. And more group work with lazy students.

21th October 2024.
So glad that the weather is getting cooler.
It's so much more bearable.
Work has been going ok, studies are meh.
Trying to learn SQL on the side.
That could be helpful for an analyst job, alongside other things.
Second meeting with the therapist today.
Surprised at how upsetting these sessions are.
Really facing all these things is horrible.
It's been easy living in a bottle.
Too easy maybe?
I dislike where I live and where I work.
I understand it's a necessary sacrifice to the degree,
But it doesn't make it feel much better.

28th October 2024.
Feeling rough these day. Can never get enough sleep.
Work has been exvacuated as the construction site next door found unexploded ww2 bombs.
We have to work from home. I really dislike it. My flat is horrid.
No real difficult calls or cases recently. The average card fraud stuff.
Went to the library and caught up on reading. Doing well with the Linkedin learning stuff too.
Then a walk around town. The center looks pretty with all its lights.
People and their shenanigans too, good old Liverpool.
Now taking the bus to do some shopping. Then home.
Tomorrow more of the same.

31st October 2024.
My work laptop was stolen yesterday!
Left it on an Arriva bus. Managed to find the exact bus returning to the station and looked upstairs,
Some kid must have swiped it.
Funny because that morning I saw two crackheads fighting each other by the stran on that journey.
Crackheads, the power of being able to fight and smoke at the same time.
Chloe got us a replacement easily, little fuss to be honest.
Oh, the council have finally installed sound recording equipment in my flat.
Now we can start really dealing with that gym downstairs.
Working from home and hearing all the banging and crashing was uncomfortable to say the least.






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